So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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