Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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