i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
