Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
