Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
