i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
