I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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