Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
