I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you're hired as official boob wrangler
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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