I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
