Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
