thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
