Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
where am i from again
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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