and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
