All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
