I'm lost and stupid without you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize