Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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