whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
