Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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