i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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