I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
