Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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