we have officially lost it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
