can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize