I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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