I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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