Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
