she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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