What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize