So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
