If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
