This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize