I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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