look no pants
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I want to fling myself into the sun
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
