how can u be prego again
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
