Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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