im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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