it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
