escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
