You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
