my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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