from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I smell stomach acid.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
