Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
