So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
