Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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