I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
