these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
