come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I looked at my own cervix.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
