Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
