fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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