Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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