Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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