Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize