it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
