Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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