i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And then he peed in my hair
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