Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
