I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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