this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
