We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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