He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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