so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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