dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
