I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize