if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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