I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
