i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
