we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
