she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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