I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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