gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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