You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
