What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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